I’ve been a youth pastor for three years now, and, while there are many things I could tell you I’ve learnt (which I may do in another post or a YouTube video), I wanted to share with you all, the one thing your youth groups needs – and you probably didn’t know it.
When I started as a Youth Pastor back in 2016, I went to a mega-church and started collecting some ideas on what youth ministry looked like and what it “should” look like to attract teenagers to your church. What I didn’t know was they had an almost endless budget and I didn’t. The fact is that when you seek to entertain you need a budget that can cater for that and level it. Why? Because things get old. Things stop trending, new PlayStation 4 games come out, new versions of thirty seconds come out, fads wear off and you find yourself chasing things that eventually become expensive.
The One Thing That NEVER Wears Off
The one thing that never wears off is relationship. For a very long time I missed this. Numbers affected me terribly and every week that our numbers dropped, my anxiety spiked. To tell you the truth, numbers still do affect me. I still feel that they do indicate somewhat how your program and ministry is affecting and impacting the surrounding community. However, when I shifted the programme from entertainment based, to relationship-based, I began to enjoy ministry again. I began to look forward to Friday nights again, and youth ministry became my passion again.
The Shift from an Entertainment-based Ministry to a Relationship-based Ministry
Step 1: Listen
The one complaint from my leaders that tired me out was this: “The music outside is too loud!” and my response every time? “Blah blah blah, you sound like my mother.” Okay…it wasn’t that harsh! But the reality was that in my mind the loud music was justified: If we PUMP it up here, the teens will knows there’s a “turn up” happening, and they flock here. What I didn’t know was that I was ruining the relationship and community. People even retreated to the safety of the kitchen! We had everyone stuffed in one room, the kitchen or at the back, and there was no community atmosphere.
After two-and-a half years, it finally struck me. What I had been doing was not constructive for the ministry and the soul (excuse the intended pun) purpose of the ministry. I talked about relationship and its importance, but the environment I had set up was not conducive for this. So, I listened to my leaders, and turned the music right down. Almost immediately, that night, the quad was used for socialising.
Step 2: Think Strategically
Now you may be reading this, and have a massive budget or a non-existent budget, either way you need to hear this. Be strategic in your approach and thinking around youth ministry. When you buy things, ask yourself: “Am I buying this to attract and keep teens? Or am I buying this to improve the relationships in my youth group?” Remember to be honest with yourself, the health of your youth ministry relies on it.
Being a youth ministry with a tight budget, something like a PlayStation or an Xbox may not be the wisest thing to buy, as it limits relationships (to an extent). Whereas half the amount can go towards a table tennis table, which is just as fun and does a lot more for building a relationship-centered youth group.
So, here’s what I did: I bought ’30 Seconds’ and took it outside (during summer). I put together a coffee station and set it up outside as well. One of the teens then suggested moving our wooden benches into the quad, and I agreed as it seemed a good idea. I cannot describe the change in our atmosphere. It was INCREDIBLE! A few simple changes that cost almost nothing.
Think strategically around your setup and around your budget. How can you change your setup in such a way that it forces interaction and what can you buy that will also encourage interaction and make that interaction less awkward? Because… let’s face it…teenagers are awkward.
Step 3: Step Out
The third, and final, step in this process is to step out. This whole process of making this shift begins with you as the youth pastor/leader. Next, you need to ‘drum’ it into your leaders’ heads. Once you, as a team, get this right it will filter down into the youth group, and your community will begin to buzz! Step out of your comfort zone. Break the awkward vibes by being more awkward! Show the teenagers that it’s cool, you’re cool, and you’re glad that they are there. Try your best to remember names and attempt to greet them all by name, it goes a long way.
Your goal is to create a community, and a culture of loving everyone, no matter who they are. A relationship-centered environment.
Take this from someone who has made this mistake. Youth Pastors, leaders, no matter who you are. Your youth ministry needs to be bigger than entertainment. It needs to run deeper than a soccer game. The one thing every youth group needs is relationship. For, it is in these environments that the gospel is best shared and experienced by each individual.
jasondevenish 